Welcome to the Night Shift!
Hey there, newbie. I’m guessing you’re the unlucky one they’ve got training to take over the night shift?
Well, nice to meet you. I’m Jesse, at least for the moment, and I’ll be training you.
Now, most of this is just common sense, but here’s the rules you’ll need to follow, while you’re working this shift.
Remember to keep the roller that cooks the ‘long pig’ rollers fully stocked all night. Believe me, you do NOT want to see how angry some of our regulars get if they come in and they have to wait for the full cook time of a long pig roller.
Add the nightly deliveries of soda and chips to the inventory. Ignore the scanner if it starts asking for your barcode, and never, EVER point it at anything living.
If the lights all go out at once, but the register and other equipment is still on, don’t panic! Hold still – you don’t want to bump into one of them – and start reciting the official corporate motto until the lights come back on.
Your legally-required lunch break is from 3:22 AM to 4:22 AM. During that time, lock all doors and turn the sign on the front one to ‘closed’, but do not shut off the pumps. Anyone who tries to get in, no matter who they say they are, is not to be allowed entry.
While you can wear a coat to restock the freezers and coolers, make sure you keep your official uniform hat and pants on, and make sure you take your coat off promptly afterwards, otherwise some of our regulars might get confused. And hungry.
When the man with the white face and black suit comes in and asks for his ‘special order’, make sure you give him one of the red bags in the cooler.
When the man with the black suit and sunglasses comes in and asks for his ‘special order’, make sure you give him one of the pink bags in the cooler.
Make sure you greet every customer when you first see them, even if you weren’t at the register when they came in. Even if they’re hard to properly see. If you do not, and they make a complaint, you’ll get a talking-to from Corporate – and they often forget to use the phone.
While you’re on this shift, your name is Jesse. Doesn’t matter what your name is off the clock, or what your gender is – hey, Jesse’s a lot more gender-neutral than what it used to be – while you’re here, you’re Jesse. Don’t let any of them think that you have any other name, no matter how much they ask.
And that should just about do it for you! Follow these rules, and make sure you tell the morning manager about anything that happens when they get here, and welcome to the night shift!