i feel like my boyfriend isn’t trying hard enough(17f) &(18m)

i just want to start this off by saying, any and everything mentioned i’m not trying to put the full blame on my boyfriend i know i can do wrong aswell.

so me and my boyfriend have been together for soon to be three months, exclusive for 5, and a lot of the time i feel as if im the only one seriously trying to make this last. i have caught him talking to other girls (nothing serious but still wrong) and he sees no problem with that. he thinks it wasn’t cheating but he deliberately hid it from me and some of the msgs were flirty. we made the agreement to stop smoking weed, drinking and anything else on new years. ever since i’ve caught him lying about it four times ( i let one time slide because i lied about having a vape first, yes i know i was wrong and i didn’t care he smoked afterwards because i was wrong first) he smoked the day after i caught him, then said he quit but smoked like four days later and lied about it, then he was vaping and i found out n he still lied after i said i didn’t care, and just yesterday i caught him with a dispo and a vape. i don’t mind the vaping as much as the weed because of the fact he’s so dependent on it. about a week ago he left the house around 10:45 and didn’t get home until after midnight and he wouldn’t tell me where he was at or what he was doing so i parked across the street from his house(it was wrong i know i have owned up to it and apologized) and he ghosted me for 7 hours because he was mad and his parents absolutely dogged on me because of it. anytime we fight or anything 98% of the time im apologizing first, even if he’s in the wrong. today he was talking to a girl that was flirting with him so i got mad at him because he knows i don’t like her and he still talked to her knowing she makes me uncomfortable. it’s extremely sad because id rather him hurt me over and over again than watch him leave my life. i just want to find a way to communicate with him without it turning into a big huge argument. i’m so tired of things being a secret from me or conversations turning into fights when all i want to do is communicate. how can i fix this? the last thing i want is to break up. advice?