Do you guys have an internal monologue?

I didn’t always have an internal monologue. Although at some point when I was around 6 I managed to force a monologue to appear. So it’s sort of not natural. My monologue isn’t always going on… it’s usually off. The only time it really plays is when reading, writing, high, or thinking an about a decision that requires a lot of thought. There are rare exceptions, but that’s if I’m super tired. It felt like I’d loose control of my internal monologue and my mind would race when I’d get high. I’m not sure how relatable that is to others. Because of that I’ve tried keeping even stricter control of my own monologue. When I can’t control it I almost think about it as some type of rampancy. Although I hear many people who can’t control their monologue. I heard people who don’t have monologue just picture the things they are wanting to express and talk about, and I also do that. I’m not sure how many people can relate.

Although because my limited capacity of self reflection, whether that was due to my unnatural development of my monologue, or my inability to control it effectively I’ve been using other people as my internal monologue in conversations online often in voice chats. In an ironic way, that’s what I’m doing now. Do you guys know how to proper control it? Is what I’m doing bad? Should I try permanently shutting it down if possible?