Was my experience with this gynecologist bad?
Hello everyone, I'm (F20), and I’ve been dealing with irregular periods since I was 14.
For context, my periods can sometimes last up to two weeks, and once, I bled for an entire month. They can be very painful and heavy—to the point where I need painkillers to manage the sharp cramps, and I’ve even missed school because of them. I’ve also had large clots. I suspect I have PMDD, as I experience extreme mood swings before my period, sometimes to the point of suicidal thoughts. I also get migraines, sleep disturbances, and an upset stomach. There was even a month when my period skipped entirely.
I’ve had really bad experiences with gynecologists, especially back when I lived in Pakistan. They were often dismissive and cold. I thought that coming to the U.S. would give me a better chance of finding a good gynecologist.
I’ve had ultrasounds done in the past, and at my last appointment, I was told I was on the cusp of PCOS—whatever that means—but they did see cysts? I think? It wasn’t clear. I don’t have excessive body hair, but I am overweight, with most of my weight concentrated in my midsection rather than other parts of my body.
So, I had another appointment today. I was already having a rough day, so I was in a somber mood. I explained everything to the gynecologist, but she kept interrupting me. As I spoke, she would say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah," which made it difficult to finish my sentences. Maybe I’m being nitpicky, but I just wish she had let me finish before responding.
Her immediate response was: "Here are two kinds of birth control you can take! Prozac! And something else that will stop your period for three months!" I nodded along, but I didn’t make a decision on the spot.
I was the one who brought up ultrasounds—she didn’t suggest it. She also asked, "So, what do you want to fix first, the PMDD or the heavy bleeding?" And I just thought... both? I want to fix both. One isn’t more important than the other.
When I brought up my concerns about PCOS, she immediately said, "Nah, you don’t have PCOS," verbatim. I was taken aback by how quickly she dismissed it. I wish she had at least explored it further. She said that because I don’t regularly skip periods, there’s no way I have it. She also mentioned that my weight problems could have multiple causes (which is true) but that weight wasn’t a main concern right now.
She also said PMS and PMDD were essentially the same thing, just on a spectrum, with PMDD being the more severe end.
Then, I asked, "If I’m on ADHD medication (I have ADHD but haven’t been prescribed medication yet—still working on that), how would that interact with birth control?"
She responded, "That’s a very good question," and started typing away on her laptop. I peered over and saw that she... googled it. She was looking at the AI-generated overview at the top of the search results.
I know doctors Google things sometimes, but when I asked, "You’re googling it?" she just said, "Yeah, doctors Google things too."
Which, fine, I guess? But I wish she had just been upfront and said, "I’m not sure, but let me look it up for you." That would have felt more transparent.
She even joked, "I’m not here just to take your money! Well, kinda."
I’m usually a playful person myself, but I wish she had matched my more serious energy, especially since I was so anxious. I was open about my past negative experiences with gynecologists and my hesitation toward birth control due to potential side effects.
The thing is, she has decent reviews—4.3/5. My mom booked this appointment for me. It makes me wonder if I’m the problem. Was I just in a bad mood? Am I being paranoid and distrustful toward doctors? Maybe she’s right, and I don’t have PCOS, and I’m just being stubborn?
I’d really appreciate some external input on this.