Feeling lost

I am new here... i don't know if i actually have PMDD as i haven't properly researched the diagnosis process. I am scared they will just be like 'here try another anti depressant' and i've tried so many that just make everything worse. I am just sitting here like... super depressed. I honestly have had so many diagnosis' in the last few years that i don't want to fight for another one. I am just so sad, i get grim intrusive thoughts, and generally feel so hopeless. I cant see a future when i feel like this and i just dont know how to manage this right now. I am so damn tired. I haven't got any questions really... i kinda feel like this is a 'thought i looked cute, might delete later' post lol i just wanted to vent here rather than carry on crying whilst working like i have been since 8:30.