Orthobros in parish life?

How do you navigate conversation with the orthobros in your parish?

I've noticed that some converts have a zeal (which is respectable) but a zeal which overwhelms a dispassionate approach to the faith. Everytime I talk to the orthobros in parish life I'm left questioning how to navigate this and what it looks like to live out the faith. It is so hard to see people emphasize vain little things like beards and long hair but completely forget the love and joy and peace of Christ our Lord and our God. Its become a stumbling block for me, my prayer life suffers because I'm guilty of associating "orthodoxy" with "orthobros" and I want no part in it.