First day of work ng boyfriend kong avoidant..

My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) have been together for ten months. Nung bago pa lang kami ay wala talaga siyang work noon dahil bagong graduate pa lang siya— pero last month nag-apply na siya— and then finally got a job in a hospital lab. I'm really happy for him; it's his dream to work in pathology. The problem is, we've spent almost every day together for the last ten months (we rarely see our friends na nga), and I've gotten used to him being around. Now that will change, of course.

Because of the time difference, he'll get home at 1 AM my time, and he said it's up to me whether I wait up for him or not. This is hard for me, and it's making me anxious. I know I have an anxious attachment style, and he's more avoidant, so it's easy for him to not talk to me kahit pa ilagay niyo kami sa island for 10 years, madali lang sakanya mag-detach— ako naman, it's really affecting my daily life. For two weeks, I've been crying because I worry he'll meet other girls at the lab and develop feelings for someone else, which is really a possibility naman kasi we'll never know. Alam ko na yung work na ito ay meant for him talaga.. kasi naman, in the middle ng aming Bible study— nag-chat yung HR na tinanggap siya. Look, swerte talaga siya kasi wala siyang work experience pero siya yung tinanggap, sa dinami-dami ng applicants. As in, masaya ako for him. Pero yung sudden lang talaga na change, it's making me sick. Kulang nalang siguro bababa na sanity level ko, huie! Hindi ko kasi talaga alam paano niya i-handle yun, yung mga ganung scenarios (na baka may flirty co-worker), we're not exposed sa ibang tao dati pa. It's affecting me mentally and physically; I've been crying, and my stomach hurts, sobra.

Nag-iisip ako ngayon kung anong kailangan kong gawin, kailangan ko bang mag-socialize? As in, I don't know what to do! Pero gusto ko na mawala itong feeling na ito..

PS: He started his first day today. I didn't message him so I wouldn't bother him. Also, I can't afford therapy because I'm a student pa, and there aren't any free options in my city. My mom is also very strict, so I can't go out easily.