I wanna die

Hi all

I am 30. I work in a good company. Earn around 30LPA, overall doing fine in life. Quit smoking and drinking about 1.5 years back. Active lifestyle. Had a gf for about a year, but then broke up majorly because I moved to another city. But we have still been on and off for almost 3/4 years, and its because she doesn't want to let go. She is a decent girl, loves me a lot, like actually borderline crazy - in the past she has texted my friends, flatmates asking them to ask me to unblock her. Anyway, now I feel she has changed and is a lot mature than she was. But my parents don't approve of her because they know the kind of fights we had where her mother was yelling, and my dad was yelling and it was a total chaos (this call happened because of her multiple calls).

So now the thing is I am torn between her wanting to go long term and my family not approving. I am not sure how to deal with it and I am seriously depressed. Family will talk all emotional stuff and how the girl doesn't meet our standards, and the girl talks about how I am the most important person of her life. I just wanna die man.. this is fucked up life. Work stress, then this bullshit, then trying to make something out life, maybe retire by 35/36, I dont know what to do. Sometimes I just feel I should go back to smoking up hash, and then sometimes I feel I should just commit suicide and it will give me ultimate peace. Help me decide please

Edit: Thank you all for your POV. I appreciate the guidance🙏