I'm Sorry, Ma & Pa
Around the table at Ma's house, but I'm still miles away.
Floating over conversation, unsure what to say.
I used to open presents here, at Christmas on the floor.
Family gathered all around, now memories, No More.
We don't see each other much, maybe Pig Jig, or the Fair.
We used to do those things together, now just waves and stares.
Back at the table, shaped by Pa, with all the stained tea rings.
Numbness leaving, I'm all in now, it's time forgiveness sings.
Forgiveness for the missed ball games, the missed birthdays, all nine.
I'll forgive your bitterness, if you forgive me mine.
I lost my dad, but your namesake's gone, I couldn't see it then.
You were hurting just as much, left clutching "Should have beens."
Years not wasted, years not lost, perspective we've obtained.
No days pass, no more go by, without "I love you" refrains.
Wrote this about reuniting with my dad's side of the family nearly a decade after his suicide. Ma & Pa are my GrandMA and GrandPA to clear the confusion.