How do you deal with realizing you’ve been a terrible person most of your life?

Through a lot of introspection, pain, drama, and therapy… I’ve discovered that most of my life I’ve been an extremely terrible person. I used people, emotionally manipulated partners, was all around a selfish dill hole of a person. I’ve done my best the last year to turn around my behaviors and be kind and loving to people… but how do we deal with the weight of nearly 30 years of being a truly awful person and hurting people I loved as a result.

I’ve repaired some relationships with family, but I can’t apologize to most of the people I hurt because it would be selfish for me to reintroduce myself to them, and frankly they deserve to be at peace without me around them.

How do people deal with this when they start to turn their life around.