I'm somehow even more dissapointed and let down about her when I'm sick.

I try my hardest to not fall sick for this very reason. Whenever I do, there's no doubt I'll have to face lectures on how weak I am, mocked for being in pain because she's always had it worse than me and I should just suck it up, or get lectured again about how my cleaning skills lack quality. Doesn't matter if I'm half dead or hospitalised. She just doesn't care fullstop. When my sister gets a minor headache she's allowed to rest but with me (eldest daughter) I still have to keep going even when I'm half dead. Sometimes I wish I gave up hoping I'd get a loving mother like the movies.