Are these Narcissistic traits:
Feeling like you are both superior AND inferior to people around you
Judging people harshly in your head
Feeling like the smartest person in the room constantly — (but actually having a high IQ doesn’t help this one because it’s somewhat true).
Not being able to actually listen to others in conversation or mentally checking out (this might be down to my ADHD)
No longer pursuing goals/hobbies because if I suck at them, I will feel too much shame
Constant critic in your head telling you you’re worthless
Extreme social anxiety at times
Feeling like the most attractive person in the room OR the least attractive therefore feeling extremely self conscious and terrible about yourself.
Only being able to do your hobbies (e.g. playing guitar) when people are watching.
Not actually being interested in having friends, but feel the need to “have friends”.
Being more interested in talking to people older than you that have wisdom to share rather than people your own age (I’m 23).
Not being able to take criticism
Staying with a partner because I like what they provide/do for me
Having a very weak sense of self — not knowing what my true opinions are of things.
Getting obsessed with other people.
What also makes my grandiose thoughts tricky to control is that I actually am above average intelligence, above average in looks — I work as a sex worker. And above average in most areas therefore I struggle to see what is true or just my head making it up.
During Uni lectures I will think to myself: “my god these people ask such stupid questions… it’s obvious what the answer is” So I end up judging people and devaluing them in my head. And thinking I’m so much better than them when I’m probably not — they just have different strengths/weaknesses than me.