Are these Narcissistic traits:

  • Feeling like you are both superior AND inferior to people around you

  • Judging people harshly in your head

  • Feeling like the smartest person in the room constantly — (but actually having a high IQ doesn’t help this one because it’s somewhat true).

  • Not being able to actually listen to others in conversation or mentally checking out (this might be down to my ADHD)

  • No longer pursuing goals/hobbies because if I suck at them, I will feel too much shame

  • Constant critic in your head telling you you’re worthless

  • Extreme social anxiety at times

  • Feeling like the most attractive person in the room OR the least attractive therefore feeling extremely self conscious and terrible about yourself.

  • Only being able to do your hobbies (e.g. playing guitar) when people are watching.

  • Not actually being interested in having friends, but feel the need to “have friends”.

  • Being more interested in talking to people older than you that have wisdom to share rather than people your own age (I’m 23).

  • Not being able to take criticism

  • Staying with a partner because I like what they provide/do for me

  • Having a very weak sense of self — not knowing what my true opinions are of things.

  • Getting obsessed with other people.

What also makes my grandiose thoughts tricky to control is that I actually am above average intelligence, above average in looks — I work as a sex worker. And above average in most areas therefore I struggle to see what is true or just my head making it up.

During Uni lectures I will think to myself: “my god these people ask such stupid questions… it’s obvious what the answer is” So I end up judging people and devaluing them in my head. And thinking I’m so much better than them when I’m probably not — they just have different strengths/weaknesses than me.