help, the brain won't stop challenging itself.

almost two years in therapy now. it's a constant battle between two opposing viewpoints:

on one hand it's screaming: "i know you're trying to protect us, but i don't need it this time. we can't avoid not getting hurt at all because we're human, just like everyone else. we'll be stronger and trust ourselves more and make better decisions"

on the other end: "but you ARE not good enough!! remember this time when.... (a point where someone did me wrong). yes it was a mistake, but what makes you think it wouldn't happen again?"

and any proof or mindfulness approach i bring in, the brain deflects. oh the pain of growth...

i want to build the muscle. i want to stop going to war with myself. i want to see me as i am.