Vulnerability and immediately disconnecting after expressing it.

I have no problem expressing how I feel on here, or anywhere if it means I never have to see any of you face to face anytime soon. I can post over and over without feeling disgusted. However, the case isn’t the same when it comes to real life.

If I let a slight hint of vulnerability leak out to anyone I have a relationship with, it’s like something snaps or gets cut right after. I genuinely can’t seem to like them the same way ever again, I especially don’t have the capability to care about them anymore. It’s not exactly like they’re a threat, but they aren’t safe either. It’s like I accidentally let them see a room they weren’t supposed to walk into.

What I consider pros from that is the fact I don’t expect anything from them anymore and that lifts a weight off my shoulders. No emotional attachment. I don’t feel the need to have even their supply. I want little to do with them, and I want to keep them as shallow of a connection as possible. It might not have even been vulnerable, but if I express anything related to hurt, fear, sadness, etc, it’s over.