Importance of doing 'enquiries'

Maybe I'm wrong but I've noticed that many people seem to disregard this aspect of the search these days or don't place as much importance on it. Maybe due to longer talking stages? so people feel they have enough information on this person through this and whether to proceed. But remember, this is only what they have portrayed to you. Isn't it important to see how they deal with others? It's also Islamically proven aswell - and the Prophet SAW was asked for his opinion on proposals that a Sahabiyyah had received. The person you ask is obliged to give an honest opinion. It could also go the other way - if you're unsure about something, you may be told that something you assumed may not be necessarily true.

Maybe this is slightly personal - someone I know recently got married and didn't think to ask anyone about this guy despite having several mutuals. If they'd only asked the closest person to them, they would've been told that he is not a good person to marry. I also know of another situation when certain facts come to light only after marriage which then resulted in the marriage ending. Another instance - a guy wasn't entirely honest about the reasoning for his divorce.

Anyway - my point is don't take everything you're told at face value. Be proactive. Ask the right questions. If you don't have mutuals, ask to speak to their friends or maybe someone respectable in the community. It's absolutely within your right to do that as it's a huge decision you're making. There'll always be an element of risk but you should do everything you can to minimise that.

I would also add that if you're told something about someone - don't spread that knowledge, stay respectful, it may only be for your knowledge as that person's potential spouse and if it's something substantial, then ask the potential about it as it may not be entirely accurate (2 sides to the story and all that).

Thoughts?