Significant difference in income?

Salams everyone :)

So let me start with saying I am female 😊. I’ve met potentials over the last two/three years (mostly through aunties) and in each instance I make significantly more money than them, and that doesn’t include my investments. When the potentials get down to asking the serious questions about kids, I say “I don’t mind having kids, but what would the dynamic be since I’m the breadwinner? Are you okay with taking paternity leave?”

Every single potential completely freaks out hearing paternity leave and how it is not their role to raise the kid as I am the one who has the “maternal instinct.” Sure I might have the maternal instinct, but I’m also the one making six figures. One even said he would want his wife to be a housewife until the kids go to high school/ college. While their incomes could be sustainable if we budget correctly, my income would just make everything more comfortable in terms of housing, schools, etc. When I tell them that, most of them told me “our parents can help out,” or “we can use your income until you give birth.”

So you agree that my income is the sustainable one, you just have me on a timer? And why would I ask my parents to dip into their retirement money, just to allow the guy to work and make less than half of what I’m making now?

I also don’t think it is the “type” of guys I’m talking to either since these aunties send potentials of different ethnicities, levels of practicing, and careers- and yet they all had the same response. Could it be a cultural thing? My coworkers don’t have this problem. My friends told me to focus on guys making more than me but tbh I cannot “filter” just based on their income. I would hate missing out on a guy with great character just because he’s making less than me.

I was wondering if other sisters are dealing with something similar and know how to proceed? :) an auntie sent a potential my way and I’ve just been stalling talking about global warming 😅