Don't go to marriage counseling, go to individual therapy
I have been scrolling through some of these posts for a while and in all honesty there are just quite a few concerning posts from OPs. Obviously, I cannot determine if it is just hyperbole, a troll, or an actual concerning relationship, but I just felt like this needed to be said. Pretty much in every one of these posts there is a comment about how the couple should go to marriage counseling.
Don't do that. Go to individual therapy before marriage counseling.
That way, you will have a professional help you identify if your partner is abusive.
Marriage counseling is for two people who are both dropping the ball. There is a lot of risk to the abused person if they enter marriage counseling with their abuser.
Even if you are in a healthy relationship, everyone brings some level of trauma (I used that term loosely) into their partnership. Individual therapy is good at identifying what yours is. Everyone I know that went to marriage counseling was told to also go to individual therapy, so you're not really losing anything by going to individual therapy first. Also, if you go down the divorce path, you'll have an outlet for emotional support. (If you're in the USA, individual can be covered by insurance, marriage counseling never is)
Do not do individual therapy and marriage counseling with the same therapist. They should give you a referral to another therapist, if they don't, I would question their ethics.
Here is some more information about what I posted about if you're interested:
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/should-i-go-to-couples-therapy-with-my-abusive-partner/
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/finding-good-therapist