I 40m humiliated my 41f over 🌶️ books in front of our friends and i think my marriage might be over.

I am staying at a friends house, and am a little drunk so pls forgive for any mistakes.

I 40M and my wife 41F have been together for 18 years, married for 15 and as all couples we’ve had our ups and downs over the years as most couples have.

On Saturday night we had sort of gathering of friends at our home for my birthday. Since we couldn’t celebrate on Friday due to it being Valentine’s Day.

I came upstairs as my wife and her friends were talking n drinking in the living room.. my wife said something, then our friend Jessica said “yeah he watches it a lot, I don’t mind.” My wife then said, “oh no, I hate it. Op isn’t allowed to watch porn. He knows better.” Claire, another friend said “it’s not my thing. ” Ans my wife, continued “no, it’s disgusting, degrading.. hell it’s perverted but ‘op’ is a pervert, “ she laughed loudly. Then proceeded to tell them about some time when I approached her about getting a little more adventurous with toys. (To clarify, I’m talking about dildos, Specifically to be used on myself)

Honestly, I felt humiliated and probably could’ve handled things better but I really mad and marched upstairs and grabbed one of her the dark romance books she loves to read and stormed back downstairs into the living room.

I tossed the book down onto the couch beside her and said “ I’m a pervert?” at least the porn I watch doesn’t involve kidnapping woman and penetration with a gun.”

I didn’t stay in the house much longer after that, my friend and I left shortly after. They think I could’ve waited until everyone left the house before I got into it with her, which is likely true, but she didn’t hesitate before bringing up intimate matters between us to her friends.

I don’t know, part of me feeling quite justified in what I did, but at the same time I think my friends could be right, I’m not the kind of person to have an argument with someone in front of people, especially my wife.

Did I fuck up?

TLDR, wife and friends were drunk, and my wife called me a pervert for watching open and processed to tell her friends of something I asked her to do to me, so I tossed one of her favourite spicy books down in front of her and her friends while giving them an idea of what’s inside

Small update;

I feel sick, she’s sent a pictures of me in compromising positions to people we know

Although I can admit I didn’t agree with sone of your advise encouraging me to talk and apologise to my wife, I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my post… but I don’t think I’m found to be talking to anyone again. I feel numb. There’s no denying it’s me in the photos people keep calling me, so I’m going to turn my phone off. I don’t know if I’ll turn it back on.

Xxxxx

This is Sydney’s friend. He is dead. There will be no more updates.