I think I hate my husband

UPDATE

I didn’t think this post was even going to get a comment, thank you to everyone who gave advice/feedback. It was good to hear it from people whom I didn’t know! Thank you!

Here’s the update, I talked to my husband and he said he doesn’t really want to change and that he’s done trying (even though he hasn’t been trying) I told him that I shouldn’t be taking care of two kids and that made him say he’s “not a fucking kid” I told him he acts like it because I take care of him, buy him stuff, provide a roof, etc. and he doesn’t even help, he says he takes care of the baby a lot too…I think he’s delusional because we hardly see him. I told him just making her breakfast occasionally doesn’t count as parenting because I do all the rest, I make lunch and dinner, change her diaper, bathe her, have fun with her all the works. He says he cleans a lot so he needs to go play games after to have fun…I told him I take care of the baby ALL DAY with no breaks no “fun time” he said he either needs to clean or take care of the baby because then he won’t have time to play games. 😳 I told him to try to get seen by a dr to get diagnosed with something (we think he’s autistic) but he wasn’t sure if it’d help…I told him so you’re calling our relationship? And he said yes. I told him I’ll give him money to rent a place with his friend. Will he actually leave? Who knows? He’ll probably fight me on leaving like he did in the past. OR when I tried kicking him out in December he said he wants to find a job before leaving…

Me (F29) and my husband (29) have been together since 2011 and have been married since 2015. We recently had a baby in 2023 and ever since then things have been shit. He doesn’t want to help me with the baby, he hasn’t had a job since 2018 and before then he really hasn’t worked so I’ve been the sole provider since 2013!! And since I’m the sole provider I ask him to help me take care of the baby while I work (I work from home) and he doesn’t even do that! When I ask him for help it’s like pulling teeth and I hate even asking him. He plays video games all day and doesn’t even come check on us, like we don’t exist.

When our baby was first born he sold his gaming pc because he said he wasn’t going to have time to play games, which made me feel like oh yay! he’s gonna be an involved father and stop playing those damn games all day! Nope…a year later he got his pc again and has been playing non stop…

He tells me that if I need help I need to go get him from playing video games but I don’t get that, shouldn’t he just be present with his family? I feel like he’s another child rather than my husband. He plays games from sun up to sun down with hardly any breaks. I hate it so much and I feel like he doesn’t respect me. I want to leave him so bad but since he doesn’t have a job I don’t know where he would go. I have had so many conversations with him on our issues, telling him I can’t do this any longer that I need him to better himself and go to therapy, he agrees and he’ll do it for a week then go back to his old ways. I feel like I hate him because he’s doing whatever he wants while I am taking care of our baby all day with no breaks. I do it all for our baby and I am becoming resentful towards him. Thanks for reading, I just needed to get this off my CHEST!!!! I just want to scream!! There’s so much more I can write a book about it but I’ll just leave it at that lol.