Did you pursue your husband and are you still happily married?

I pursued my first husband and the relationship did not go well and ended horribly. I keep hearing things like men are meant to pursue women, if he wanted to he would. Having issues with my first husband seems like a big indicator that its always been and meant to be that men pursue a woman. On reddit men say they are scared to approach women and we should approach men more so I have tried to pursue a few first dates. Everytime I try to now, it seems weird or unnatural. I always feel like I am more into them than they are into me and it dosen't get far. I do not want to be delusionally sitting at home and expecting a man to show up at my front door. I am looking for some success stories or advice. There is a very handsome man I would like to get to know but I am questioning if I should pursue him or let things happen??