I’m worried my husband is losing his grip on reality

My (40f) husband (37m) and I have been married for 10 years. We have two kids (12m and 9f). He’s always been someone who was searching for something: career fulfillment, spiritual fulfillment, self improvement, etc., which was something that attracted me to him at first. I thought it was really cool that he would throw himself into things and was always trying to be a better person.

He’s somewhat impressionable, though, and I realized that a lot of his interests have more to do with the people around him or online communities that he’s a part of. For most of our relationship, it’s been pretty benign… he got REALLY into tea when he befriended the person who owned a small tea shop in our town and meditation when a mutual friend showed him a meditation app that they use.

Lately, though, the things that have been catching his interest are making me uncomfortable, and it’s starting to get into obsession territory. My family is very religious, but I’m not and I have complicated feelings about religion. We went to church when we visiting my family over the holidays, and after we came home he said he wanted to start going to church. Ok, but I wasn’t interested. He started going every Sunday with the kids (who hate it!) and then much more - now he’s at every service and becoming very religious. We get into arguments about the kids going, because I don’t want to force them, and he finally gave up and just started going by himself. He goes pretty much every day to pray, and to every service they have, which is taking away from his time with our family. It weirds me out because he was never religious… spiritual but very against organized religion, like me.

That’s not terrible, and I admit I might be more uncomfortable or less understanding because of my own upbringing. His other two new obsessions are really bothering me, which are alien abductions and a cat girl kink.

I don’t know where the alien abduction thing came from, but he reconnected with an old friend from high school about 6 months ago who I invited when I threw my hushed a surprise birthday party. I’d never met the friend, and he’s weird - I can’t put my finger on it, but he gave me creepy vibes. They had a blast together, though, stayed up late drinking and I guess the subject of aliens or life out in the universe came up. He’s been going further and further into a rabbit hole of internet conspiracies on alien abductions and told me that he believes he was abducted as a child. He’s started checking our children’s windows before bed, and bought all of these new security cameras and locks that he thinks will prevent aliens from getting into our house. He still keeps in touch with this high school friend, and I don’t know if they’re egging each other on, or if his actions are all him. If I try and bring up that I think it’s is unhealthy, he freaks out and tells me I’m being a bad mom for not caring about our family’s safety - that we don’t know what’s out there, and I should get behind him even to protect against home intrusions (we live in a VERY safe small rural town). He’s also starting to get into surveillance technology in general and personal defence after a LOOONG visit to this “spy store” where he came home with cameras and even a Kevlar-lined leather jacket which he wears all the time now. He’s been talking about getting a gun, which I am dead against.

The cat girl kink is also becoming a HUGE issue. I guess it’s one that’s been simmering for a while, because he bought me a pair of cat ears and asked me to wear them during sex. I obliged. He went further and bought fake teeth, mittens and a butt plug with a tail. I told him I draw the line at ears. He started showing me all of these anime drawings and hentai with cat girls - telling me it shouldn’t be an issue because they’re not furries (which is not the problem! I just don’t want to dress up and act like a cat when we have sex!) he’s been pushing this kink more and more, getting mad at me when I turn him down. He tells me it’s my duty as his wife to please him… that I make everything difficult and everything about me.

He’s changing before my eyes into someone I don’t recognize, he’s pushing all of my boundaries, upsetting our kids and acting like everything is life or death. Im getting to the point of wanting to leave him, but I’m concerned there might be some serious mental health issues going on here. Im at a loss, I don’t know what to do or where to start! How did this happen? How did this become my life?