I am ashamed of my mdd

I want to stop it so badly like I have been mdd for 3 years i am so embarrassed i haven't told anyone . I was physically and mentally and verbally abused as a child I mean that's okay. But after staying in rent with my mom she put me in many tuitions and also beat me if I don't go and take my phone have to study everytime like now I am 17 almost 18 i think I am recovering from mdd now after like I shouted and scream and throw things she stopped telling me anything.But still now she constantly criticised my small sister like you can't study this this and that and constantly compare her she is 9 years old and studies tuition direct after school .I think my small sister mdd to cause she always talks to herself in the bathroom and mirror.My mom only do things to impress others she is emotionally unstable I have a bad relationship with my whole family members.