(TW SUI. RANTT)Why the fuck my parents with every call out or inconvenience have to bring up the topic of their death. First my mother threatening with suicide then my father just being like "soon I won't be here anymore and there will be nobody to argue with." And stuff.

Like,damn. I was thinking "I didn't cut in a long time,that's cool" :D and here I am now being like ,yep I will cut.

My parents have emotional maturity of a toddler,problem solving skills of a teenager and just looks and age of adults.

Had money?Mother dearest threw it all off to get away with her new man and now she is homeless,calling relatives for help.

Father got locked up for 3 months In a jail for animal cruelty because he'll of a monster our sibling is was kicking them,screaming at them daily and I don't even remember what. She is mentally disabled or ill idk THEY STILL NEVER TOLD US.

And where it comes to conflicts our father throws at us a silent treatment,petty behaviour:

Picture that: Mental sibling competes with us for his attention for God knows why (she had that competition with our mother.) And she insists on cleaning the whole house. And then they both make 2x mess again and the cycle repeats everyday.

Told him she doesn't know how to clean dishes and she does a shitty job,he did what?

He started cleaning the dishes (that they both left, because we all frequently washing after ourselves.) Left in half of doing it leaving the sink full of soapy stuff and he was gone for a good time.

He protects this sister of ours as if she did nothing wrong her whole life where she is not being able to even form a proper conversation with us without throwing an aggressive Tantrum.

Every conflict was solved with shouting when my mother was there. She was beating our other sibling,literally targeted him as if he was "the worst". Beating the mentally disabled too. And nobody could say a word cus we lived in fear and just thought its normal. Couldn't go outside during cold because meds were "too expensive" for her (she once gave me a cold shoulder and an attitude cuz I dared to get sick.),couldn't go outside our property (I'm 18 now and still fear of doing so.)

How the fuck am I still alive. Ah yeah cus I failed 4 times. Womp womp.