For K
(I usually write to you in r/UnsentLetters, but there is a 24-hour limit so I figured I’d post here instead…addressing this to you personally in hopes that you might find it here)
You’ve been heavy on my mind since yesterday…it always like that on the weekends though. You pass through my life so quickly, sometimes I forget how much you really mean to me.
Because you do in fact mean the world to me, you always have. I hate that I have to keep up this facade around you now, I’m trying to be vulnerable around you but it feels impossible now. The walls between us are raised so high, leaving no way for us to creep back into each other’s lives.
I would work tirelessly to find a way back for you. You have always been my weakness. You know I have a soft spot for you as much as I pretend that it doesn’t exist anymore. I wish I could baby you again but we don’t have that dynamic now.
We made eye contact this week though (4 times, I was counting lol), I could see the longing for one another reflecting in your eyes. I’m sorry for not making you feel safe here anymore, the other day was bad I admit. Although it wasn’t entirely your fault, you did not make it any easier for me.
I hate that things are this way now; I never should have let us get so far off track and for that I apologize. That is not what people who love each other do. Yes, I do still love you. Yes, I wish we could be together as friends or partners, but I don’t know if that’s possible anymore.
But I will try to leave the past in the past in hopes for a brighter future for us both. One where we thrive off of each other like before - back when the love we shared for one another was undeniable. I wish I could tell you how I really feel without fear of it backfiring though so I will leave this here for now.
It’s getting late and I won’t see you again for a few days so I will say this in case you are here somehow: please don’t be afraid to try again. My heart will always be open for you but only you are able to unlock it. Take care until next time though…
☮️ + ❤️