I don't know what to do

I've been with my gf for almost a year. And most of the relationship I've been what you would call a stone top, do to my past trauma and hers. Last night I let her fuck me and it was good I liked it. but afterwards she kinda made me feel like shit bc she was saying that I dont make any noise, I was trying to but I just don't. she just kinda kept going on about it and she was being kinda rude, and I ended up crying. the only other person i have had sex with said kind of the same things+ worse. (this is the same person who sexually assaulted me) it just kind of took me back to that night with my ex and now I don't know what to do. I feel like shes gonna leave me (I dont think she will) but I'm scared and I dont want to be touched now. I don't know what to do or say I'm just so hurt and violated ig? I trusted her enough to let her do that and then she just hurt me. What do I do?