I hate my members..

It’s my first time being an R5 and I know that burnout is real.. I need advice though because although people tell me I’m doing a great job including some of my members which I do like but still I’ve gotten in to disagreements with a couple of my members and I can not stand them anymore. We have a douchebag running the highest alliance and I have hot headed players who get massively enraged at alliances smaller than us. The r4s I’m supposed to trust the most rile them up but my members have way more loyalty to the aggressive leaders of my alliance than me because I’ve focused more of my time building strong relationships with the other top leaders than I have connecting with my players. I’m like a figurehead of the alliance but no one cares about me and they’ve been turned against me because whenever I pop in to chat I have to shut down their talks of hitting our allies. I hate this I don’t feel burnt out I just can’t handle these dicks anymore. So what do I do? I want to put the alliance in control of one of these people who can’t control their tantrums to watch them fail without me but I don’t want my server to fail…