Polygamy Isn’t the Flex You Think It Is
Polygamy is a topic that always sparks debate, especially when viewed through the lens of modern times. While Islam permits it under strict conditions, many men today misuse this permission without understanding its true essence. The Quran clearly states that if a man cannot be just between multiple wives, then he should marry only one. This shows that monogamy is actually the preferred choice unless certain responsibilities or circumstances truly justify otherwise. Justice in marriage is not just about financial support; it is about emotional, mental, and spiritual equality—something that most men today are not capable of maintaining.
When we look at the life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, we see that he remained in a monogamous marriage for 25 years with Hazrat Khadija (RA), a relationship built on love, respect, and unwavering loyalty. Only after her passing did he enter multiple marriages, and even then, they were not out of personal desire but due to divine wisdom. Some of these marriages were to widows who needed protection, while others were to form political and tribal alliances to strengthen the Muslim community. His example teaches us that polygamy was never about personal satisfaction—it was about responsibility and the greater good.
What is concerning today is how many men selectively apply Islamic teachings. They ignore daily prayers, indulge in haram activities, fail to lower their gaze, and lack discipline in their faith, yet when the topic of polygamy comes up, they suddenly remember religion. If Islam is to be followed, it should be followed completely, not just in ways that benefit personal desires. A man who cannot fulfill even the basic duties of his religion should not be talking about taking on multiple wives. True marriage is about commitment, love, and respect, not about fulfilling momentary desires under the label of religion.
From my perspective, love is something that should not be divided. If I am to marry, I will wait for the one who truly loves me with all her heart—someone who sees me for who I am, not just for convenience or temporary feelings. A marriage built on sincerity, mutual effort, and unwavering loyalty is far more valuable than anything else. I believe in a bond where two people grow together, support each other, and build something meaningful. The idea of love should not be about options but about devotion to the one who is meant to be yours.
People often talk about relationships as if they are just decisions to be made, but for me, it is deeper than that. Finding someone who genuinely connects with you, who stands by you in both ease and difficulty, is something rare. So instead of chasing multiple possibilities, I would rather wait for the one that feels right—the one who chooses me as much as I choose her.