this is ruining me completely

honestly the holidays suck. everything sucks. this may not ruin my life but it is ruining ME. i’m terrified of ever having sex because of the fear of passing this along. how did i get so unlucky to get this? i’ll never know and that’s what upsets me. everyone else gets to move on and be happy because they’re clueless well i’m not and because of that i have to deal with this burden on my brain for the rest of my life. i already am getting mental help, but as someone who suffers from anxiety this made it 10 times worse. i understand it’s not a life sentence, but i am truly terrified