Lonliness

Five weeks ago my dad passed away. While I’m trying to grieve this and still continue on with things the best I can (today will be my first day back in the office since December 10 and I’m incredibly worried about being back there around people, and how they will act). Anyway, the worst feeling in dealing with is the lonliness. I feel incredibly alone. None of my friends have checked in on me in the last 5 weeks and it hurts. While I might not know what to say if someone did ask, it would be nice and maybe I’d feel like people did actually care. I watch my mum and siblings friends send them flowers and gifts, do things with them, and are always checking in, even attending the funeral, but mine, nothing.

I don’t even know if this is just me overreacting to the situation or if it’s a reasonable feeling. I’m sure people might not understand or know what to say but I just feel alone, like no one cares and I’m not worth peoples time. Physically, it’s also starting to get to me and noticing I’m not eating properly and losing weight and I’m concerned the longer this lonliness and anger goes on, the worse this would get. Is any of this a reasonable response or am I just overreacting? I’m 28 so maybe people don’t understand the pain of losing a parent at this age? Of all the times I wouldn’t want to feel lonely, yet that’s all I feel at the moment.