Why is this so hard?

I’m currently exactly 3 weeks PP and am doing all 3 methods. It’s crazy to me that biologically breastfeeding is so hard!

Background: my first child I went to formula after about 1 week of trying and severe post partum depression - it was the absolute best decision. My husband could help, we knew exactly how much baby was eating etc, but the guilt ate at me. I logically fully agree that fed is best but some small part of my brain was upset that I couldn’t ’hack it’ like all my friends and family members have.

So onto my second child 2 years later. I decided I’d at least try breast feeding. And, well, he couldn’t latch, and I didn’t know what I was doing. But, since I wasn’t struggling with post partum depression I decided I’d exclusively pump. And you know what? I did it for 7 months! I liked being able to see exactly how much I produced and how much baby ate (helped with the anxiety) and being able to have my husband help me. Bad side of it all was how much stress I put on myself to follow my strict pumping schedule (I was a just enougher). And the awful MON sessions.

And here I am now. I just had my third and last kid. I’m exactly 3 weeks post partum. And well, my daughter latches like a champ. Seriously. She just seemed to know what to do right away. So, I’m trying nursing. But I’m an under supplier, so after I nurse for about 30+ minutes I give her a bottle. Then I pump. And repeat. This absolutely sucks - I thought nursing would be the easiest of them all but frankly it just has all the negatives. I don’t know how much she gets. My husband and family can’t help since I have to be the one to feed her. And add to that I have a 4 year old and 2 year old running around.

All of this to say - why, biologically, is this so dang hard? You’d think we’d have evolved somewhere along the way to not have a small helpless baby needing your milk every 1-3 hours.

Thanks for reading this rant. I just needed to say this to a group that know what it’s like to deal with all of this.