Epic the Musical? More Like an Epic Catastrophe

Let's delve into the first and last songs of each saga in Epic the Musical to highlight the glaring issues that plague this production.

Troy Saga:

  1. "The Horse and the Infant" – This opening number attempts to set a dramatic tone but falls flat with its convoluted lyrics and lackluster melody. Instead of drawing the audience in, it leaves them bewildered and disengaged.
  2. "Warrior of the Mind" – Intended as a climactic piece, this song is bogged down by pretentious lyrics and an overbearing arrangement. It tries too hard to be profound, resulting in a disjointed and uninspiring finale to the saga.

Cyclops Saga:

  1. "Polyphemus" – This track introduces the Cyclops with exaggerated vocals and chaotic instrumentation, rendering the character more comical than intimidating. The lack of subtlety undermines any potential tension.
  2. "My Goodbye" – A supposed emotional farewell that comes off as melodramatic and insincere. The forced sentimentality fails to resonate, leaving the audience indifferent.

Ocean Saga:

  1. "Storm" – An attempt to convey the peril of the seas that ends up as a disjointed mess. The erratic tempo and jarring transitions make it a chore to listen to.
  2. "Ruthlessness" – A track that tries to depict the harshness of the ocean but falls into cliché territory. Its predictable progression offers no real insight or engagement.

Circe Saga:

  1. "Puppeteer" – This song aims to portray manipulation but ends up being a convoluted piece that confuses more than it entertains. The muddled narrative and lack of clear direction leave the audience scratching their heads.
  2. "There Are Other Ways" – An attempt at presenting alternative perspectives that only serves to muddle the narrative further. Its lack of focus and coherence makes it entirely forgettable.

Underworld Saga:

  1. "The Underworld" – A dreary descent that bores rather than intrigues. The sluggish pace and lack of dynamic range make it a tedious listen.
  2. "Monster" – A failed attempt at exploring inner demons that comes off as trite. The lack of originality and depth renders it entirely unremarkable.

Thunder Saga:

  1. "Suffering" – An overemotional piece that feels more whiny than profound. Its melodramatic delivery and lack of subtlety make it grating.
  2. "Thunder Bringer" – Intended as a powerful anthem, this track is marred by its bombastic arrangement and shallow lyrics. It lacks the depth and nuance needed to make a lasting impact.

Wisdom Saga:

  1. "Legendary" – A self-aggrandizing number that feels unearned. The inflated sense of importance and lack of genuine emotion make it fall flat.
  2. "God Games" – An overambitious attempt to tackle divine politics that collapses under its own weight. The convoluted lyrics and overproduced instrumentation result in a chaotic and unenjoyable experience.

Vengeance Saga:

  1. "Not Sorry for Loving You" – A petty revenge song that lacks any real bite. Its uninspired melody and clichéd lyrics fail to evoke any strong emotions.
  2. "Six Hundred Strike" – A track that tries to build tension but is hampered by its repetitive structure and lackluster execution. It fails to deliver the climactic punch it aims for.

Ithaca Saga:

  1. "The Challenge" – A predictable contest that lacks any real stakes. Its uninspired composition and lack of dramatic tension make it entirely forgettable.
  2. "Would You Fall in Love with Me Again" – A lackluster closing number that leaves the audience unsatisfied. Its trite lyrics and unremarkable melody fail to provide a meaningful conclusion.

And the Creator?

Jorge Rivera-Herrans, the so-called mastermind behind this disaster, seems to believe that stringing together a series of uninspired tracks constitutes a musical masterpiece. His lack of originality and vision is evident in every poorly executed song, making it clear that he is out of his depth in the realm of musical theater.

In summary, Epic the Musical is a misguided attempt at storytelling, with each saga and song failing to deliver any meaningful impact. The creator's lack of talent and insight is glaringly obvious throughout this tedious production.