My love for my parents has waned significantly

Im in my mid-20s and I’m absolutely exhausted by my parents. FYI, in therapy, in school, and have a job that starts in a few months.

I think they were good when I was younger, like under 9, but I think they genuinely combusted when I started entering puberty and developing autonomy. When I come home they get upset if I take a walk around my suburban neighborhood by myself.

They’ve severely emotionally abused me since then (regularly called me s/w word since I was 9, blamed me for being SA’d, regularly called me weird/dumb). Idk the insults weren’t even logical, it was just like a villain trying to hurt your feelings in a cartoon. I hate to say this, but I’ve been SA’d by 10+ people, and I still think my parents had a worse impact on my self-esteem. I’m much more over getting r@ped repeatedly than I am of chronic emotional abuse. And you know… the r@pists fucking apologized to me, which my parents never have for any meaningful way, no matter how much shit they’ve genuinely ruined for me (severely emotionally abusing me during crucial interviews, pressuring me to make horrible choices, etc). I have a lot of problems because of how emotionally numb and reactive I am, but I have a great boyfriend + friends and now know that not everyone is cruel lol. It’s made my tolerance for my parents decline significantly

They’re complaining that I seem “sad” and “lethargic” and that I became “mean” as a teenager. Like.. yes. You both make me extremely sad and lethargic. I don’t want to be here this Christmas. When I talk to them I’m very non-reactive but they find the stupidest ways to insult me still. I said I ate ice cream and 3 days later they said I “might be getting fat.”

This Christmas holiday they had a tantrum because my hair was “messy” (my dad started yelling at me), tried to insult my bf’s career, tried engaging with me about a topic then insulted me for “not knowing enough” and then for “talking too much” about it. They basically like guilting me for existing. They regularly called me a psychopath growing up.

In general I think I always did love them, but recently I hit a breaking point. I was verbally abused because they were stressed and it was already at a time where I was still recovering from their last attack. It killed a lot of affection.

I’ve hit my breaking point. Every time they call I genuinely want to cry