Should I feel guilty for using Spirit Ashes?

I am currently hard stuck on Rellanna. Attempting her solo, I can't even get her to second phase. I beat her in a previous playthrough of the DLC, but I summoned for it. I tried doing a no-summon playthrough (majority of the time), but Shadow of The Erdrtree just makes me want to curl up in a hole and die. The level of difficulty in this DLC is absurd. I think it's the hardest thing FromSoftware has created and it's not close (except for maybe the runbacks and gank squads from Demon's Souls and Dark Souls 2). I just hear that "you don't play the game for real unless you solo everything. Summoning just trivialize fights and turns the game into easy mode." I always feel guilty using them because of this, but I also have to be honest and admit that I'm not having fun when I'm bashing my head against a wall for hours or even days because I can't beat something.