i feel so guilty

it’s ramadan and im only fasting to lose weight but i feel so guilty even though im not religious. actually locking in this time but regardless everyone around me has so much spiritual stuff attached to fasting rn like it’s the first day and today at school people were talking about praying and becoming better muslims and im genuinely ashamed of the fact that all i can think about is restricting and how to avoid binging because i gained so much last year and never lost it and the thought of staying at my current weight is actually horrifying