girlfriends eating disorder makes intimacy hard for her

hello, i’m 18f and my girlfriend is 18f. apologies if this isn’t the right place to post but i’m trying to seek advice from people who might think like her. i love her a lot, she is one of a kind person and i am extremely grateful for her existence. i love spending time with her, i could never get bored of it. she means the world to me.

we met when we were both 13 in middle school, but lost touch due to her going to inpatient and me going to an intensive outpatient program for my mental health.

we recently got back in contact and we started dating and it’s been so much fun, however i am starting to feel guilty. i approached the topic of sexual intimacy with her because it is something i would like in a relationship, but i had noticed she seemed hesitant. i had asked her what her thoughts were on it, and she let me know she is very uncomfortable with sex in general, and one of the main drives of her being uncomfortable is she is not okay with having somebody see her body / touch her body. she also informed me she’s had a past boyfriend who was really pushy with sex when she didn’t want to have it, and that has made her more uncomfortable.

i really love and appreciate her, and i would never want to pressure her or make her uncomfortable. when she told me this i thanked her for letting me know.

however, as time goes on i’ve been feeling sexually frustrated and i have been feeling guilty for wishing we could be more intimate. i would hate to trigger her eating disorder, as she is kind of recovering. this isn’t to diminish her attempts at recovery but she told me herself she just tries to take it day by day and some days she tries harder to make an effort to distance herself from her eating disorder and other days it’s a bit harder to and she engages in it more. i just try to be as supportive as i can be, i try not to make any comments regarding her body or what she eats as i get scared i might trigger her and i trust she is doing whats best with her at the moment. i encourage her to eat with me whenever im going out for food. she used to have a therapist but stopped seeing her a year ago but all i do is encourage her to start therapy again.

a part of me would like to approach the subject with her again, and see if there’s anything i could do to help her feel more comfortable with intimacy. however, i would hate to do this and make her feel like i’m using her for sex or that’s all i value her for. or make her feel like i have no regard for her emotional issues with her eating disorder and make her feel misunderstood. another part of me wonders if the best thing to do is just to continue the relationship as is and hope at some point she feels comfortable enough to bring up the subject to me, thus giving her the time and space she needs and allowing her the opportunity to bring it up when she feels comfortable and ready to. but, i feel that this comes at a cost to my needs in a relationship, and i would hate if i built any resentment towards her because i am bottling my feelings.

i don’t know how to approach this at all, or if there’s anything i can suggest to her that would make her feel more comfortable, or if it’s just best practice to not bring it up until she decides to, all in all im just feeling lost.

i really do love and value her, and i’m unsure where to go from here. i want to be as respectful as i can be and i don’t want to trigger her, but it’s hard for me to completely understand as i’ve never been in her shoes. i just want to do whatever would be the best way to handle it from her perspective, hence posting here and wondering if any of you guys have been in a similar situation and how you wished they would handle it, or if you guys can put yourself in her shoes and maybe have better insight on what would be the best way for someone to approach this.

thank you!