What the fuck happened?

Please see this and please respond I’m sick of my posts getting ignored, I swear the only posts that get responses are people bragging about how sick they are

I’m litteraly diagnosed with anorexia, used to restrict 24/7 it was easy it was simple it was my life and then one day I binged and then I binged the next day and the next day and this happened for months and I couldn’t stop and now iv gained >! 10kg/20lbs !< and I am so depressed and I can’t even shower or get out of bed most days. WHAT HAPPENED WHAT HAPPENED HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I thought I was in control I was in control biologically how did this happen? I don’t understand how my eating disorder can just change I fucking hate this. I’m gonna end things I swear I can’t cope without restricting why can’t I restrict anyone.