I got sent to hospital and it was SO invalidating

I always thought that if I ever had to go to hospital it would be a light bulb moment and I would be like!! Omg!! My illness is real and severe and I need to recover now!!

But in reality I had to wait for a bed for 9 hours and then all they did was give me fluids and discharge me. They didn't even try to get me to eat while I was there except for giving me a cheese sandwich (even though I told them I am vegan).

It just made me feel like I wasted everyone's time and I'm not sick enough for help. My doctor wanted to admit me again this week and I declined because I know it will be the same. I'm not being stupid either - I would honestly go if I thought they would help me. But they won't. I think it's because though I'm UW I'm not at their ridiculously low BMI criteria. Which is bullshit because BMI doesn't equal severity!!

The hospital system is just so overloaded they don't have the capacity to help everyone who needs it. More funding and more doctors and nurses are needed!

Anyway I wanted to share in case anyone is feeling similarly, and also to say this proves nothing will ever be enough for your ED. What I thought would be a benchmark - a sudden changing point - was in fact not. There's never going to be a single moment that makes recovery easy. You've got to fight anyway.