DAE keep their thoughts to themselves?

Ok, so I understand Suicide is not a good topic. But does anyone else just keep those thoughts to themselves, like you can’t tell anyone or confess it because you have bills and can’t afford to be institutionalized because you can’t pay bills. Like am I the only one who suppress those thoughts and feel like it’s a burden on your life. I’ve tried several times and want to tell people but I keep it to myself and deal with it in hopes it never actually happens.