I miss my old life

I’ll be honest - I miss my old life. I miss my house and my dog and my garden. I miss being a part of a big family. I miss being a “Mrs._” and the sense of place and self that gave me. Of course, I definitely miss not having to worry about money.

I have so much going for me now and I feel selfish and awful for feeling this way. My ex and I didn’t work well together. He was stubborn and selfish and coercive and I’m better for leaving. I don’t miss how I felt while we were together. I don’t miss walking on eggshells or having sex I didn’t want to avoid an argument.

Our friends are thrilled I’ve left him, and I’ve found someone new who I love and who treats me so much better. I’m learning how to be a breadwinner and the freedom that comes from having control over my money. We are building an exciting new life together and I’m so happy about it!

So why can’t I move on? Why am I still replaying old arguments or day dreaming about the letters I’d write to his mom in the shower? And how on earth do I explain these feelings to my new partner without sounding ungrateful??