He left me for yelling at him

My stbxh has left me because I was always criticising him and losing my temper. I feel so ashamed and I'm struggling to handle the fact it's my fault our family unit is breaking apart. Over the years I got more and more worn down with his lack of attention and help. This became quite overwhelming for me after we had two children together and he still didn't help more. I then went back to work a couple of years ago and although we worked similar hours, his amount of help with the running of the household didn't increase. He would just shut himself away on his computer and engage in minimal conversation. Initially I would only lose my temper every few months, then it became every few weeks and finally every few days. It didn't help that any time I calmly tried to address how stressed and overwhelmed I was, he would just DARVO his way out of it and started point scoring random things he'd done, or random bills he'd paid. He would never say, 'I see you're stressed, how can I help?' He would just get annoyed at me for being stressed and either argue with me or shut himself away. So unfortunately me yelling, ranting, venting instead of trying to talk calmly about the situation became a pattern. How do I get over the pain and guilt that it was ultimately my childish inability to manage my anger and resentment that caused the end of our relationship? I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of my irrational behaviour.