Why do they gotta be mean?

Why does it have to be so difficult to be mean, I get we are getting divorced, and you want out. I've accepted it. I've done all the things you've needed me to do. I get that in the beginning, I begged and cried. But I am giving you your space, I'm done fighting for a marriage that you don't want. So what the FUCK do you feel the need to be mean to me? We use to love each other, and support each other uncondinally, we used to be the only 2 people we had to depend on, and now you gotta be a fucking mean shitty person to me. Why? I can't wait for my STBXW to be out of my house, out of our job. And just gone. Maybe it'll be easier afterwards for me to start healing, because I'm fucking sick of feeling like shit about myself because the bills were in your name, and the dishes and laundry didn't always get done as soon as they needed doing. I'm only human. And I'm fucking tired of this shit. Fuck you

Update: I told her to quit being mean, and that I didn't deserve it because I've done everything she's needed me to do, and have been giving her space. . She apologized. But still fuck her

Update 2: We are currently in a lease together. I'm gonna stay in the house. She was expecting to be off the lease and able to spread her wings and fly. But our landlord is a shitty lazy old man who don't give a fuck, and it's my fault because he was never gonna draw up a new lease. I understand not wanting to be liable if I get behind on rent. But it isn't my fault you signed a lease while thinking about a divorce. That's on you, dog. So I'm self-centered because I can't find a place that allows a pittbull and German Shepard. The dogs she didn't want (Pitt was mine before marriage) German was ours. I never put effort into finding a new home (I did) I can't afford this place alone (but she can) I'm just so selfish (always put her first) just a bunch of bullshit. That I never did anything to deserve. You thought about divorce 6 months ago, and instead of coming to me to work on this, you let it build up and internalize. You're lucky you're getting the bed. I want you out of my life. Bye!