Left my bf, tell me I did the right thing

Hi everyone.

I've been silently following this sub for the last few months to soothe the issues I have been having in my own relationship and to find comfort in hearing others going through similar stuggles as none of my friends could relate. I (27F) had been in a relationship with my bf (27M) for a year. We started seeing each other in Feb 2024 and at first everything seemed fine, he was a nice, polite, sweet man and I felt lucky to have found someone with a good temperament and heart.

We didn't have sex right away, he told me that he didn't want to rush into having sex as it's something he places a lot of importance on and usually waits to do. I was more than happy to accommodate his wants so we waited a few months before having sex. We had sex a total of 4 times around May/June within the space of 5 weeks and then suddenly everything stopped.

At first I didn't mention anything as I didn't want to seem pushy or perverted so I waited and thought this might just be temporary and things would hopefully sort themselves out. After waiting 2 months I finally brought it up and from there on the excuses began. Every excuse under the sun. To list you a few: "I find you intimidating", "I feel like you only want to come over for sex" (lol let me remind you we only had sex 4 times), "I had plenty of sex in my first relationship but now I'm getting older, I don't need sex as much", "my house is too messy", "I might be demisexual", "I enjoy sex but I don't really think about it so I don't really miss it if I don't have sex" etc.

I feel like the excuses were just to buy him time and he had no interest in having a sex life with me. After each conversation he would promise me that there would be changes but nothing ever changed. I thought I was the problem for a long time but then he let it slip that this had been an issue with the last girl he was seeing too. For some reason hearing that woke me up and I realised that this was never going to change. I had spoken to him about this so many times and told him that there was no way I was going to be in a monogamous, sexless relationship for the rest of my life but he just didn't care, all he did was continue with excuses to buy him time.

To make matters worse, in the 5/6 weeks we did have sex 4 times, we discussed birth control as we had been dating for a few months at this point and were officially in a relationship. I went and got an IUD and it was straight after getting an IUD he stopped having sex with me. I have been suffering the side effects of the IUD which has caused the most excruciating luteal phase cramps and heavy bleeding during my period and for what?! I feel like I've been kept on birth control and made to suffer its side effects for no reason. There has been no benefit to this cost what so ever.

My confidence is at an all time low. I've been made to feel so unattractive and unwanted. I've rejected a few men in the last year who have shown interest in me and I very much regret closing myself off in this relationship and 'settling'. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about cheating, I did pretty regularly despite never cheating on any of my previous partners but I never did because I knew that would instantly put me in the wrong and people will disregard everything I have had to endure.

So now I've left. A year long relationship where we had sex 4 times in the space of just a few weeks and then never again. I need reassurance that this was the right thing to do. I feel like I got comfortable in this relationship as he was very different to my emotionally abusive ex and having a sexless relationship wasn't so bad in comparison. I'm just going to stay single and enjoy my freedom for now.

Apologies if this is all over the place. I frantically typed this on my phone