I am done

I have been daytrading for about 13 years now on and off. There have been ups and downs along the way, but this is my final down.

My strategy has evolved over the years to one of no indicators, no lines, no nothing. Just the chart and the big news events (where I flat ignore the markets). Give me demo account with any size, I will kill it. I currently have one that is sitting on $752,333.12. It was started with $100 (or $200, cannot remember and I could care less to go and look now). Took about 4 years to get it where it is now.

But for the fucking life of me, give me an actual account and I blow it after a few months and sometimes even after a few days. Use SL you say... I do... and then I don't. I become so sure about my intuition and strategy that I refuse to believe I was wrong with my entry and say to myself "I am letting this trade breathe a little". Yeah, so a few thousand pips later that breathing stops.

I am fully aware of what I need to do - stick to my strategy. That is all I need to do. Look at the higher timeframe to see what the general market is doing, go back to lower one to find 'medium' time trends, go to the 5 minute timeframe and just look at the chart a few minutes. Look at who is trading now (London, US, blah blah blah...) See how the market moves, where is the sudden spikes going, how does the market react to certain prices, and most importantly - where do they want to go. After 13 years of studying charts for hours at night when my family is sleeping, I kind of get a "feeling" of what the big dogs want to do and just open my trades there. After a few pips (maybe less than 100) I close my position, take my winnings and call it a day. JUST. ONE. FUCKING. TRADE. IS. ALL. THAT. IS. NEEDED!!! If I see the market is going against me, I will keep an eye on it but after a few pips of going against me, I take the L and move on with my day.

And that brings me to rock bottom... Sometimes I take more trades, especially when bored at work. And usually with these trades I flush all logical thinking down the drain. Market moves against me? But I was right! Why is the market doing this!? Must be "some sort of trash reason" why this is happening. Only temporary. Sometimes it is temporary (gap goes to get filled, SL hunting, whatever), but when it is not - yeah their goes my ego and my account. Or I will not look long enough at the chart and after a few seconds I will open my trade, without looking at the higher timeframes. This is then just pure gamble.

And this happens over and over and over. It does not matter how much journaling I do, how much I force myself to stick to my strategy. At a certain point, I just go yolo mode and mess everything up.

I am done. Instead of flushing my money down the drain every few months, I am just going to buy bitcoin and leave it for my kids for their future.

EDIT: Congrats to all of the successful daytraders that has the emotional maturity to stick to your edge. I applaud and hate you at the same time LOL