How are yall able to take massive doses?

Most I took at once is 1.3 grams, I wanna take more, but the body load is crazy. Restless leg syndrome is so bad too, I know people routinley take these doses but how? It just reaaally sucks, and its the only thing keeping me from going above 500mg. Is this stuff just like something you just take and enjoy? Is there any coping mechanisms yall do? Or do you just not care? Before anyone tells me to just not take it, idc I wanna go down this path, Ik what it ends with, and i don't care. Well, Im scared admittedly, mostly just of the discomfort. But idk, it doesn't matter, im not really great in anyone's life just kind of a waste of oxygen, no one wants to admit it though. They wanna help until they don't. I've always been slow, oblivious, guillable, etc. People always say oh its ok, until it actually becomes a problem. No one just says kys, it's morraly wrong, and no one wants to be the one to say it. Idk, I want this though, im cowardly but, maybe the discomfort is what i deserve im just too scared to do whats right. I wanna break my record and do 1.5 grams, im running low though and idk if i should just conserve or just yolo, idk imma wait till i get more but i'll be thinking about my next trip to eiriel