I’m worried for our little

CW: BDSM, Implied CSA

Hi, I’m Gwen… I don’t really have a role in our system or I’d have introduced myself that way… it’s just the three of us so far after all.

So. Our little is an… “active” little if that makes sense and she very much enjoys her intimate time with our wife, but I’m really worried about the implications of her preferences. We haven’t unlocked any memories yet from the time we can’t remember as a kid and what memories we do have from when we were young don’t seem to add up for how we are…

But then our little… I don’t think it’s normal for a normally feisty and happy little to go limp, eyes glaze over, and become hypersubmissive at the slightest pressure on her neck. She describes the feeling as “cozy” but that seems suspect as I don’t know how getting choked could be cozy. She also has very weird issues where the only way she ever truly feels loved is by being used for someone else’s enjoyment because “you don’t take advantage of someone you don’t want”. I’m worried about what we’ll find when we do unlock those pieces. /rant

Edit: Hi uhh, I didn’t expect this to be so controversial… I was mostly just venting fear about what could have happened to make her this way since our memories from childhood haven’t been recovered yet.

Our wife is very kind, respectful, and loving. And Max talking about her feelings regarding this with our wife is what broke down our barrier enough for our protector to slip back thru after Max (the little) was stuck in front for a decade being forced to adult the best she could. Then she got choked in just the right way and I squeezed thru. So there’s definitely connections here and I just want you all to know that we live in a very safe environment and everyone here just wants Max to be a happy little critter in every way we can. Unfortunately she seems to have heavily internalized… something… and she can’t get it out of her head so we’re doing our best to figure things out.

We’re working on finding a therapist to help dive into our missing memories, and I’m nervous about what we’ll find. Thank you all for your advice and support!

-Gwen