Help me create the most unimaginably dogshit loadout

I want to get better at crucible, so I had an idea. What if I equip the worst loadout I could think of, and then try to win matches with it? Surely this would force me to improve my fundamentals more and more in order to not be completely useless.

I'm a controller player, so my plan right now is a better devils with slickdraw and gutshot straight, and a coriolis force since that's apparently awful. If anyone has any ideas for how to make it even worse/more challenging, please tell me.