I'm so sick of this

There is not really any point to this post other than me venting, but I feel like I need to share how I'm feeling with someone and my relatives (other than close fam) wouldn't really understand.

I've been suffering from chronic constipation for a few years now and it has gotten progressively worse over time unfortunately. At first, it was manageable and I thought I would be able to live with it but I no longer feel like this is the case anymore. I have tried many different laxatives and diets but nothing seems to be doing the trick. I have to take multiple laxatives everyday just to get a BM and even with that I steel get various pains and discomfort that sometimes extend beyond my stomach area. It has become very debilitating for me. There are many things I can no longer do or at least commit to long term since I never know if I will be feeling well enough for it. Every decision I make now is centered around my constipation. I can no longer exercise seriously since I lack the energy and can't eat enough to take on weight/muscle. I also don't really go out for meals any more since I usually can't face what's on the menu. As a consequence of constipation being always on my mind and affecting litterally every part of my life, my mental health has also been declining. I am not thinking of endings things but I'm feeling more and more desperate and questionning the meaning of my existence. It's so frustrating because I have tried many times to make positive changes in my life and to better myself but everytime it becomes harder and harder to even barely take care of myself.

I am so sick of this! I am in my early twenties and should have plenty years to look forward to but I don't think I can keep living like this for many more years.

I am sure some of you are also going through something like this or have been through it and I know it isn't easy to stay positive or hopefull but I sincerely hope we can all find a way to get some relief and make it more manageable.

If you've made it this far, thank you. Feel free to use this post as an opportunity to share what you're feeling too if it helps.