The dreaded Death Shits...

Yes I will explain that title. I was lurking just now since I have been constipated this last week after a long streak of very regular BM's almost all year. I've only had little tiny shits twice in the last eight days despite using miralax and having two dairy free fruit smoothies over the last three days. (Those usually help a lot) Idk I'll probably be okay, but the one thing that keeps me up at night is the phenomenon I refer to as Death Shits.

Death Shits aren't just diarrhea. They leave you butt naked, sweating buckets, hunched over in pain, breathing through each stomach cramp like a mother in labor. Sometimes I call it constipated diarrhea because its as if my gut gets sick of being clogged so decides to turn my intestines into a vice that forces out everything, followed by burning liquidous torture. (I cannot take myself seriously lmfao) Then its like my blood pressure drops. I am exhausted, shivering, in left over pain and ironically hungry.

I've had this happen randomly for three years, yet grew up lactose intolerant and never experienced anything as bad. Death Shits are so soul shaking that when I am sitting there with my handy dandy spongebob themed squatty potty, emotional support squishmallow and pains so bad I have to tell myself over and over that I am okay, I can barely move or speak. If I think about food I want to vomit. I imagine a grassy field blowing in the wind and how the grass would feel to touch. Its terrible.

Anytime I am constipated I am anxious that Death Shits will hit me at any moment. It stops me from going to my boyfriends house some nights because I am scared of being in a different environment and going through that. Happened last week lol. Didn't have the shits though, I was all worried about nothing. Now though, its been so long since I had a real regular poop that leaves you feeling refreshed, I anticipate a 2am toilet session. I keep a fan in there to help keep me cool. I SWEAT SO MUCH IT POOLS IN MY TUMMY ROLLS AND GOES DOWN ALL MY LIMBS. Don't even get me started on my feet falling asleep.

The worst experience I endured had me curled up on my knees on the floor convinced I was about to pass out, my ears ringing. Then there was the time I was scrambling half asleep to the bathroom when a cramp hit and I dropped to the floor in a crouch mentally preparing to shit myself. (I didn't) That is all. Anyone else familiar with Death Shits?