I’m having trouble finding a reason in my mind to follow Jesus other than the fact that I’m terrified of ending up in hell. I need help

I’m an 18 year old man who’s finishing his last year of high school and over the past 4 years I’ve been growing more and more apart from my faith in God and it seems the only reason I still pray and go to church is because I’m terrified of hell. It’s always been a fear of mine. It’s also been the main reason I haven’t tried to end my life. I’m slightly suicidal but I always don’t consider it an option because it’s a big possibility id go to hell. I just want some kind of reason that isn’t just not wanting to end up in the inferno. Idk why but I’ve always seemed to focus more on not going to hell than actually on spending eternity in heaven. Any advice someone can give me?