Would most people be surprised you have CPTSD?

I function pretty well externally. I have a handful of close friends, I have a great job, etc. My friends have always known I have anxiety & that I’m in therapy but I hadn’t ever really been honest with them about my struggles internally such as a strong sense of shame, believing no one really loves me, everyone will leave me, etc. They seemed surprised that I feel this way and while they were supportive I can’t help but feel like they just think I’m being dramatic. I’ve only told one person of my cptsd diagnosis because it’s embarrassing, like sure I’ve gone through things but so have others and they’re doing much better than I am. It’s like I have two selves. The external talkative, funny, witty person who’s a good nurse and then the real me…hypervigilant, anxious, untrusting, fearful of being my true self because my true self sucks & if people know the real me they’d never want to be my friend.